is there something wrong with me?

i am not feeling my wedding anymore. i feel isolated from my fiance and i regret leaving someone from my past. i have no chance whatsoever to be with that person, and that's only the smallest part of this whole thing. i keep telling myself it should get better. we'll be moving where i want to live. we're going to have kids. i'm getting everything i wanted out of life. i do love him, i just...i'm not sure how to put it into words. not only am i having these doubts but fate keeps stepping in and making it nearly impossible to pay for even an in home pot luck wedding. am i losing my mind or simply trying to avoid the hint? some days i feel like he just is happy i'm around and not that he's really caring who i am, just that i am here. i don't know. this is not the first time i've felt this way and doubted the whole thing. i'm just so damned upset. i don't even know why really.